Forgiveness - Good For Robust Health
FORGIVE AND MOVE ON
If you reach out, the person who hurt you may be willing to try being friends again.
Letting Go of Resentment
In the course of living, we are often hurt by others. Sometimes hurts can come in a series. They can be such things as rejection, judgment, bald face lies, or hurtful words spoken to us. They can come from your cousins, your casual friends, or your dating partner.
Holding in hurt feelings over years, or even decades can cause stress and can cause minor and major illnesses. Learning to pardon significant hurts and then move on is an important part of staying healthy, in both mind and body.
Myths About Forgiving
- Forgiveness is always easy
- Forgiveness requires rebuilding the relationship
- Forgiveness means you must forgive what happened
- Forgiveness means acting like there are no consequences
- If they don't repent, I don't have to forgive
The Crisis of Forgiving
We can laugh or explain away small hurts. But some hurts are so unfair, and so deeply felt, that they cause "a Crisis of Forgiving" — we can't bring ourselves to pardon the individual who caused the hurt (even in cases when we know it was an accident). If you've been hurt, you probably feel distaste, or even rage. Bottling up such feelings is stressful, and can also increase other stresses. When you face your pain (and the former friend who hurt you), you can end the "Crisis of Forgiving" and lead a healthier, happier life.
Learn A Way to Forgive
Being hurt by someone you trust can be particularly pain causing. While it may be difficult, try to be open and accepting as you explain to that individual what he or she did to hurt you so deeply, then try to imagine that the event had not happened. You may find that you can stand back and be objective about the individual who hurt you. You may find that the individual is distressed, or simply human, and needs your help. With new insights, your pain and anger may give way to forgiveness and compassion.
Holding in such feelings can cause your resistance to illness to be reduced.
The Nature of Forgiving
Forgiving is part of the process of healing, but it is not excusing, denying, or running from what caused the pain. Forgiving includes remembering, letting go of anger, recognizing what happened, and moving on. Forgiving is often a slow, confusing process. You can pardon and still feel some anger.
Forgiving Harvests
Forgiving makes your life easier. It gives you greater peace of mind. You are able to go on with your life when you are freed from the resentment of worrying about those who have harmed you.
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